“O God, who by your mighty power
–The Nuptial Blessing
created all things out of nothing,
and, when you had set in place
the beginnings of the universe,
formed man and woman in your own image,
making the woman an inseparable helpmate to the man,
that they might be no longer two, but one flesh,
and taught that what you were pleased to make one
must never be divided”
Wedding Inquiry
Congratulations on your recent engagement, and thank you for your interest in getting married at St. James the Apostle!
Please note that marriage preparation at St. James the Apostle takes at least seven to nine months to complete. We ask that, if possible, couples wishing to be prepared for marriage here contact us nine to 12 months in advance of their desired wedding date. Exceptions, however, can be made for individual situations. Please contact us even if you have a tighter timeline, and we will work with you to see what is possible. We do recommend that you begin the marriage preparation process with us before booking a venue! (Diocesan policy requires a minimum of six months of marriage preparation. If you contact us less than six months before your desired wedding date, we are not permitted to prepare you for marriage unless you move your wedding date.)
We do require that couples who marry here are either registered as parishioners or have a letter of permission to marry here from the pastor of their current parish. If you have been attending St. James the Apostle and are not yet registered parishioners, we invite you to register now!
If you are already engaged and looking to being marriage preparation, please fill out the Wedding Inquiry Form. We do not schedule wedding dates until you have met with a priest or deacon, and have begun our marriage preparation program, but we can let you know if your requested date is available. All arrangements can be made with the bride and/or groom only.
Please also review our wedding policies, so you are aware of the requirements and policies surrounding marriage preparation and wedding ceremonies.
Witness to Love Program
Preparation for a wedding in the Catholic Church is an exciting time. Matrimony is one of the seven sacraments and one of the two Sacraments at the Service of Communion, along with Holy Orders, intended for the salvation of others—primarily your future spouse. This is a blessing and responsibility worth adequate preparation. Marriage preparation at Saint James the Apostle Church takes seriously the responsibility to help you receive the Sacrament of Matrimony not just for one day, but for a lifetime.
Our marriage preparation program, Witness to Love, is designed to help engaged couples grow in virtue and in understanding of the Church’s teachings on sacramental marriage. After an initial meeting with church staff, the Witness to Love program begins with the engaged couple choosing a mentor couple to walk with them on this journey. The engaged couple then meets monthly with their mentor couple to learn virtues and skills for a happy marriage. The mentor couple will become a support for the engaged couple throughout their marriage.
In addition to their meetings with their mentor couple, the engaged couple will also:
- Complete the FOCCUS inventory, an instrument for identifying strengths and growth areas in their relationship, and review the results with one of our trained FOCCUS facilitator couples.
- Attend the Witness to Love Theology of Marriage retreat, to learn more about the awesome gift of God that they are entering into in their marriage.
- Take a Natural Family Planning class, to learn more about God’s design of the human body for love and procreation, and to understand how to work with their gift of fertility in a way that honors and does not distort it.
If you are interested in learning more about the program, please explore the links below:
Convalidation
Convalidation is a process by which baptized Catholics who have contracted a marriage outside the Catholic Church (either civilly, or in another Christian denomination) can re-exchange their vows in the Catholic Church and thus have their marriage recognized in the Catholic Church, and receive all the graces of the Sacrament of Marriage.
Convalidation is open to two Catholics married civilly, or to a Catholic married to a non-Catholic, or even to a non-Christian! We would be delighted to help you convalidate your marriage in the Catholic Church.
The first step for convalidation is to meet with one of our clergy members to fill out a few pieces of information-gathering paperwork.
After that, the couple seeking convalidation will enter our marriage preparation program, which is a version of the Witness to Love program that is modified specifically for couples seeking convalidation. Please see the Witness to Love tab for more details.
In addition to the Witness to Love meetings with a mentor couple, the couple seeking convalidation will also do the following:
- Complete the FOCCUS inventory, an instrument for identifying strengths and growth areas in relationships, and review the results with one of our trained FOCCUS facilitator couples.
- Attend the Witness to Love Theology of Marriage retreat, to learn more about the awesome gift of God that they are entering into in their newly sacramental marriage.
- Take a Natural Family Planning class, to learn more about God’s design of the human body for love and procreation, and to understand how to work with their gift of fertility in a way that honors and does not distort it. (Subject to age & circumstances.)
Overall, the program usually takes 4–6 months (averaging 1–2 hours per week), but couples can also start in a year in advance, allowing them to complete it at a very leisurely pace. Once they have completed the preparation for convalidation, the convalidation can be scheduled for any time. Some couples choose to make it a sort of “second wedding,” getting dressed up and inviting all their friends. Other couples choose to have a low-key exchange of vows during a daily Mass on a weekday morning. We can accommodate either of those options, and anything in between. Please contact Hannah Dart for more details.
Required Forms
Prenuptial Questionnaire
This is the form that you will fill out with the priest or deacon at your first official meeting. It is meant to ensure that you are free to marry, according to the norms of the Catholic Church. After you fill out the Wedding Inquiry Form, our sacramental coordinator will be in touch with you to schedule a time for you to fill out this questionnaire with a priest or deacon.
Witness Affidavits
The bride and groom will each need to bring two witnesses to the church after one of the Masses on a Sunday or Saturday evening to sign documents with one of our deacons, attesting to the bride or groom’s freedom to marry. All four witnesses do not need to come on the same day. To schedule a time to bring in your witnesses for the affidavits, let our sacramental coordinator know a couple of upcoming weekends that would work to bring the witnesses by to sign the affidavits, and she will get it on our deacons’ calendar if they are available. Witnesses should be someone who has known the bride or groom for most of their life, e.g. parents, siblings, aunts or uncles, grandparents, close childhood friends (who have also known the person well in their adult life).
Baptismal Certificate
If Catholic, each party must call the parish where they were baptized and ask them to mail a newly issued Baptismal Certificate with notations to the parish address (St. James the Apostle, 480 S. Park Blvd., Glen Ellyn, IL 60137, ATTN: Hannah Dart). It must be a physical certificate, not a photocopy or scan. The certificate must be requested (and dated) no earlier than six months before the wedding date. For non-Catholic Christians, some proof of baptism is needed; either a copy of your baptismal certificate, a letter from your church, or something else as discussed with the sacramental coordinator.
Confirmation Certificate
A notation of Confirmation should be included on each baptismal certificate; if it is not, the sacramental coordinator may also ask you to request a Confirmation certificate from your parish of Confirmation, or provide some other proof of Confirmation.
Marriage License
In order to get married in the State of Illinois, even in a religious ceremony, you must have a marriage license, and it must be from the county in which the ceremony is to be performed.
In order to acquire your marriage license, you must apply online or in person with the DuPage County Clerk’s Office. Apply for a license here:
Please note that DuPage County marriage licenses are only valid for sixty (60) days after issue, and are not valid for the day they are issued. Therefore, you must acquire the license no more than 60 days before the wedding, and no less than one day before.
Ceremony Planning
Please review this link to choose your wedding music:
Please view this link to choose your wedding readings:
Please fill out this Wedding Liturgy Planning Form with your chosen music & readings, and other details:
We also encourage you to make a plan to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation before your wedding. Please check this link to find the availability of that sacrament:
FAQs
What are the fees for marriage prep and weddings at St. James the Apostle? There is a $150 materials fee for marriage preparation (payable before the kickoff meeting with your mentor couple) and a $900 fee for the wedding, which covers use of the church, a cantor, and an accompanist.
We are getting married elsewhere. Can we still take part in the Witness to Love program? Yes! We are willing to prepare couples for marriage elsewhere, as space and time allow. Please contact Hannah Dart for more details.
We don’t know any couples in the parish. How can we find our Witness to Love mentor couple? We have several profiles of couples in our parish who are willing to be mentor couples that you can review and choose from, if you wish.
What if we are already civilly married? We are happy to help you prepare for the convalidation (validation in the Catholic Church) of your marriage! Please see the Convalidation tab for more details.
Can we bring our own priest? Yes! We are happy for you to have a priest friend or family member who is a Catholic priest celebrate your Wedding Mass at St. James the Apostle. If they are a priest outside the Diocese of Joliet, they will need to send us a Letter of Good Standing from their home diocese.
We have a friend who is a musician—can they play or sing for the wedding? We approve guest musician requests on a case-by-case basis, and in consultation with our music director. Guest musicians may be required to rehearse with our parish accompanist and/or music director.
We are parishioners at a different parish, but wish to be married at St. James the Apostle. Is this possible? Yes, we will be happy to celebrate your marriage here! However, in addition to your standard marriage preparation and paperwork, you must also have your pastor send us a letter of permission to marry you here at St. James the Apostle.
What times are available for weddings? Normally, weddings take place at 1:00 p.m. on Saturdays. However, other days and times may be available on a case-by-case basis. Please contact our sacramental coordinator for more information. Please note: we do NOT celebrate weddings on civic holidays, Holy Days of Obligation, or during Holy Week.